1. They said go to the river go to the desert go to the mountain to find Him
but He wasn’t there.
I stood in cathedrals of Europe with Newton and Darwin in Westminster Abbey
and saw the great obelisk and felt alive at the Place de la Concorde
where they lopped off the head of a king and royalty rued the rabble
but He wasn’t there.
They say Akhenaten worshipped only one god, a Sun god
and all of Egypt changed and cursed his name
and the tomb of his son god Tutankhamen
wasn’t found for three thousand years
death treasure lost to dust and thieves.
And the Mahābhārata speaks of flying chariots, Vimāna
fighting great battles in the sky while Zeus dwelled on mountaintops
and Elijah like pagan Helios who rode the sun
ascended on his flying chariot and appeared with Moses at the transfiguration of Christ
a son God who shone like the sun.
At the bottom of the world in a hospital with homeless men
who wanted to be safe and clean He wasn’t there
At the top of the world I listened to the wind and my heart
and all I heard was the silence and the beating.
2. They said read the holy scriptures but He wasn’t there
I was baptized and learned of hair suits and honey in a cave
the shroud and the scrolls but nothing changed me
I was in the choir when they preached to the choir
and raised my hands to heaven but I mostly felt alone.
I read Freud and Jung and maybe he’s my Shadow
or maybe He’s on the couch describing his dream
or maybe He’s my children
I don’t notice the hero now as much as the hero’s Father
an old man like me the hairy old bastard full of rage.
I haven’t been on a hajj – a pilgrimage – but don’t we all come from pilgrims
where is my Mecca my monolith on the Moon?
Here’s what I’ve learned
the light the dark the mother the monster
Buddha Krishna Satan Jesus
is you.
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